Daily Tips for Families

Today's Tip for Families

05-12-2024

Limits Are Not the Same as Punishment

For some time now, your teen may have been saying “I’m old enough to be allowed to decide to do what I want.” This isn’t completely true. Your teen still too young to make every decision independently. What’s more, a firm set of limits from you probably makes your teen feel secure.

Teens need limits to stay out of trouble and learn responsibility. Limits help them avoid risky behavior and focus on being good students. But they also need limits because having them tells them how much their families care for and love them.

It’s best if you can discuss and agree on limits with your teen and then stick to them. The limits should only be changed when it’s clear to both of you that your teen has become older and more mature, and can handle more responsibility.

Limits are not punishment, no matter how much your teen complains that they are. Just explain that "These are the rules, and breaking them has consequences."

One author uses the example of a store closing to help families understand how to treat limits. At a certain time, the store closes. It doesn’t close to punish anyone, nor does it stay open longer because you forgot what the hours were. It simply closes because those are its rules.

Source: R.S. Angaran, “Teens Headed for Trouble: Turning it Around,” Positiveparenting.

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Suffolk Public Schools

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