Rely on Reasonable Expectations
When parents have high expectations for their children, the children tend to live up to them. For this to be possible, the expectations must also be reasonable. While you might wish your shy child were more outgoing, for example, that's probably not realistic.
To set high and achievable expectations:
- Consider your child's personality. Set expectations that make sense.
- Realize that every child is different. What helps one child learn math may not work for another.
- Avoid comparing your child to others. Talk to your children individually about issues like report cards or things that may cause sibling rivalry.
- Realize that "fair" is not the same as "even." Different people have different strengths, weaknesses and needs, so expectations will also be different.
- Celebrate differences. "Let's decorate your room in your favorite color instead of mine."
- Avoid pushing your child too far. Set attainable short-term goals that allow your child to enjoy the feeling of success. Then set some new goals.
- Face your own doubts and fears, such as, "Can my child be happy without being outgoing?" Expectations work best when they allow children to be themselves.
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West Point Consolidated School District
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